20161121 dream

I had a dream that we were all in the blue van we bought from rich and arlene. We were at the beach driving towards the water on a concrete road. The road seemed to be taking us to a parking area we thought, and we could see the water in front of us with the waves crashing. It became suddenly apparent that there was a very large wave coming and we realized that the road we were on was not going to a parking lot but straight into the water. And the wave which was massive was going to be larger than the van, and we were right in its path. We braced ourselves for the impact and the van was swallowed up in water, spun around and tumbling. I saw it from inside and then outside. I think this was one part of the dream, another or part of the same dream I was on a beach area and looking for the family . I walked up the slope and through some houses eventually making it to the boardwalk. There was a camera crew talking about the disaster and after the camera was off I was talking the newscaster he said that there were several people that died and his son was one of them. I said I was sorry about hearing that and told him that I was in there as well, and now looking for my famy. (I just realized two parallels, the flood and the man losing his son.) I was explaining how i was in the van , was somehow separated from the family and then ended up on the beach. I put my helmet on and was about to leave. Just then jen was riding by on a bike. I yelled wait wait and was on my knees trying to get my helmet off. I was partially in tears and wondering why she didn't recognize me already. I got the helmet off and started to say why don't you recognize me. She said oh I remember you you're that guy who said you thought you were married to me and something about a restraining order. I though how could this be as I remember all of these things and as they were part of my life. I said how could I remember being in the van, onlookers must have thought that I was a nut, trying to cash in on being in the disaster when I wasn't and jen was getting on her bike and leaving . I remembered in the dream having had one of these run ins before where I thought we were married, (and maybe that was actually another dream where something similar happened or this a was a repeat of the same dream) but I realized that she and I hadn't married because I came home early from my mission, and my life had a taken a different path. I wondered why I was seeing this alternate path and being tormented by it. Like a mental disease it seemed that I was crazy. Or chemically imbalanced, and that was my life. I went down a crowded alleyway filled with shops and people where people were eating and buying things and I lived somewhere in there. Steve Martin came walking through and said hello like we were neighborhood acquaintances . I was reining in my dream that I had different outcomes in my life from the choices I had made, b,UT even in my dream this didn't seem logical. If I had come home from my mission early I still probably would have ended up marrying jen. After I awoke I felt the same way like my outcome would have been pretty much where I am now. The only thing that logically would have changed the course would have been if I didn't go to the young adult ward when I got home and decided not to marry at all. In the dream I was not married, and maybe the Steve Martin reference was if had I made the choice to go into action as well instead of engineering. The man I talked to must have been god, losing his son in the flood. I was counterfit, trying to say that I was in the disaster as well when apparently I wasnt, making a mockery of his suffering and losing his son. I awoke thinking that this dream could not have possibly been close to an inkling of reality in the sense of alternate choices and where my life would have been but I see more of it now. I'm glad I am where I am. Perhaps given two choices and seeing their outcomes fully as if I had lived them , I am happy with this choice and in the other choice I would have been yearning for this choice.