20170213

I want to be there for you, and at the same time I am not sure what you are going through. I want to be able to help you through it and for you to be happy. I don't know what that will take, is it depression, apathy, or do you no longer feel love for me? Many thoughts run through my head some of which aren't good, we were so close and have been at different times in our lives, I don't want to go back to those places where we were not so close. There is a distance between us that I want to close in on, and I'm not sure what caused it. I didn't mean for you to stop communicating with me, and if I said that I was trying to be playful and spontaneous when you were anxious and stressed out it was only because I was trying to lighten your mood. I didn't want you to close up. I know we can work through this its just in these times I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do or what I did wrong so that I won't do it next time. I want to go back to where we were. Love you hope you have a good day If I were to die today, I would like all those that I leave behind to know that I was at peace with my life. I enjoyed living, what is beyond that great dark unanswerable question I have inklings and see through the glass darkly. It is my wish that those that remain would understand that I felt the greatest hinges they could do with their lives was to be kind and help others.